Dealing with Anger
Why am I blogging about anger? Isn't this a Wellness Blog? Yes it is. And when I think of wellness I think of total body wellness; ranging from physical to mental. So here is my post on ANGER.
Anger is defined as a strong feeling of displeasure (Webster Online). Anger is one of many emotions that we can and do feel. Anger sometimes takes over our better judgment and leads us down a path we might not typically take. ANger can also give us the energy and desire to overcome a problem.
So the question I throw out to you is... Is it okay to be angry?
What's your answer? Yes. No. Maybe. Depends.
As I just stated, anger is an emotion - a natural emotion, and it is an emotion that every one of us has felt. My answer to the question is it is okay to feel anger. It is okay to be angry. What is not okay is to take your anger out on other people; especially those who don't deserve it.
So if someone makes you angry what should you do? My recommendation is to step away from the situation before it escalates. Go somewhere where you can feel the anger and enjoy the feelings associated with the anger. That's right, I said enjoy the feelings associated with the anger. We have all heard before that when you are sad that it is good just to let out a good cry. Sometimes this "good cry" helps you get over the sadness. Well the same holds true for anger. Go someplace and get your anger out (non-violently please). If you need to go to a quiet room and just yell and scream and curse; do it. If you need to hit the punching bag or lift weights or go for a run; do it (In fact, exercise is a great way to work out anger. It is a great release.). If anger is the emotion that feels best to you right now...go with it. Do what it takes that will make you feel better as long as it doesn't hurt someone else in the process.
Try this activity. The next time you are angry take one minute and talk to a good friend about what you are angry about. Let it all out. Rant. Go crazy. Don't let your friend interrupt you. Just explain the whole situation and let out your emotions. The when you are finished, see how you feel. I'll bet you are less angry. In fact, I'll bet that this tirade you just went on felt pretty good. Now hopefully this "feeling pretty good" will help turn your mood around. It's now time to start thinking of some things in your life that make you happy. (If you have read some of my earlier posts you may have read this next phrase.) Words lead to Thoughts which lead to Feelings which lead to Results. To change a Result you need to change your Feelings. To change your Feelings you need to change your Thoughts. To change your Thoughts you need to change your Words. If it is anger you wish to get rid of, then start at the beginning and choose some happy words. Happy Words = Happy Thoughts = Happy Feelings = Happy Results. Go for it! I dare you!
Let me know how this works for you. I hope it helps. And if it doesn't, don't be angry at me; I'm just trying to help.
Anger is defined as a strong feeling of displeasure (Webster Online). Anger is one of many emotions that we can and do feel. Anger sometimes takes over our better judgment and leads us down a path we might not typically take. ANger can also give us the energy and desire to overcome a problem.
So the question I throw out to you is... Is it okay to be angry?
What's your answer? Yes. No. Maybe. Depends.
As I just stated, anger is an emotion - a natural emotion, and it is an emotion that every one of us has felt. My answer to the question is it is okay to feel anger. It is okay to be angry. What is not okay is to take your anger out on other people; especially those who don't deserve it.
So if someone makes you angry what should you do? My recommendation is to step away from the situation before it escalates. Go somewhere where you can feel the anger and enjoy the feelings associated with the anger. That's right, I said enjoy the feelings associated with the anger. We have all heard before that when you are sad that it is good just to let out a good cry. Sometimes this "good cry" helps you get over the sadness. Well the same holds true for anger. Go someplace and get your anger out (non-violently please). If you need to go to a quiet room and just yell and scream and curse; do it. If you need to hit the punching bag or lift weights or go for a run; do it (In fact, exercise is a great way to work out anger. It is a great release.). If anger is the emotion that feels best to you right now...go with it. Do what it takes that will make you feel better as long as it doesn't hurt someone else in the process.
Try this activity. The next time you are angry take one minute and talk to a good friend about what you are angry about. Let it all out. Rant. Go crazy. Don't let your friend interrupt you. Just explain the whole situation and let out your emotions. The when you are finished, see how you feel. I'll bet you are less angry. In fact, I'll bet that this tirade you just went on felt pretty good. Now hopefully this "feeling pretty good" will help turn your mood around. It's now time to start thinking of some things in your life that make you happy. (If you have read some of my earlier posts you may have read this next phrase.) Words lead to Thoughts which lead to Feelings which lead to Results. To change a Result you need to change your Feelings. To change your Feelings you need to change your Thoughts. To change your Thoughts you need to change your Words. If it is anger you wish to get rid of, then start at the beginning and choose some happy words. Happy Words = Happy Thoughts = Happy Feelings = Happy Results. Go for it! I dare you!
Let me know how this works for you. I hope it helps. And if it doesn't, don't be angry at me; I'm just trying to help.
MY BIGGEST PROBLEM IS THAT WHEN ANGER HITS ME IT'S EXPLOSIVE. THERE'S NO WARNING. I HAVE LEARNED TO WALK AWAY, BUT THAT IS USUALLY UNACCEPTABLE SOCIALLY. MOST OF THE TIME NO ONE KNOWS WHY I'M WALKING AWAY. ANOTHER CRAZY OLD MAN'S ACTION.
Reply to this
Ray -
I have an idea here. Maybe if you inform your social network ahead of time (when things are calm) that in the rare occasion that you get angry you have found it best to just get up and walk away. And ask them to please not get upset at you for walking away, it is your best way to calm the situation down. Then, when things are calm, you would be happy to discuss the situation with them.
See if that works. My opinion is that if you inform them ahead of time of how you deal with anger, they will be more understanding when it happens.
Good luck!
Reply to this
THANKS STEVE, I'LL TRY AND DO THAT.
Reply to this
I agree. If you think positive you'll receive only good things. So why don't we think only about beautiful and sublime things.. the small things count though. Everything around us can make us happy.
Reply to this